Complete, and Total, Fashion Fail.

I have a serious fashion confession to make. I have failed the Goddess Coco Chanel above. I did not mean to, but I embarrassed myself through the art of fashion. The best way to cope with failure is admitting your mistake in hopes that other people can learn from it. Here is my mistake:

This past week, on Thursday, I was dressed and ready for the Matt & Kim concert in the morning. I was going to go to my morning classes and then head to Charlotte in the evening. I had my outfit picked out days before, obviously. I got dresses and had a fairly normal morning by time I walked over to the shuttle. Upon sitting down on the shuttle, I felt as though I was sitting on something wet. Usually the shuttle is hotter than Hades so I just figured it was someone's nasty sweat. Side note, true story, this is the life I live. So I continue on, get off the shuttle, walk to class, and carry on with my day. Around 2:30, I decide to have a quick lunch during my break. My friend Elliot comes and has lunch with me. We sit down to wait for our delicious bagels when I think I'm sitting on something wet again. I figure its nothing, but I reach my hand down to my bottom to feel my pants. To my surprise, I feel my bare Jewish hiney. I tell Elliot about my recent discovery and ask him to look at it and tell me how bad it was. Oh lord, it was bad. I had ripped my jeans bad enough to where approximately 30% of my butt was exposed to the world. Poor sweet Elliot got a bagel and a bum flash for lunch. I quickly realized I had nothing on me to cover up my wardrobe malfunction. Around the same time, Elliot's friend came up to say hi to him. I introduced myself and with same breath ask him for his sweatshirt because my ass was trying to escape out of my jeans. Needless to say, he handed me his sweatshirt and walked away briskly. I somehow must have scared him off. So now I had a sweatshirt, and a mindset that it was 1997 again.

Thank the Lawd my bagel was ready at the same time, because I was seriously needing to stress eat. With my bagel in hand, I continued the day as if I was going to a Smashing Pumpkins concert. I looked like this for a total of 2 hours. This outfit made me look about 20 pounds heavier and extremely angry. If I saw myself walking around campus, I would pick up a stone and throw it. Shame on me. I am repenting my sins, and asking for everyone's forgiveness. I am truly and deeply sorry from the bottom of my heart.